


Ineffable Twins

by Demented_Dukey



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angels, Apocalypse, Demons, End of the World, Good Omens AU, M/M, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 11:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demented_Dukey/pseuds/Demented_Dukey
Summary: A RemRom Good Omens AU.





	Ineffable Twins

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Yes, “twins” is in the title, but no, Remus and Roman are not related in this AU, and I do not consider it incest. However, I don’t know how angels are born other than God creating them out of the ether, so technically I guess that makes them brothers? I’ll leave it up to the reader to decide.

Roman watched the first human beings walk away from Eden, their forms growing smaller and less distinct but still recognizable against the bland background of the endless empty desert. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw tentacles wriggling their way over the edge of the wall, but he didn’t bother turning to look.

“Well, that went down like a lead balloon.”

Roman turned and looked - it would have been rude not to at this point - and saw that the creature had reformed. The tentacles were gone, and now to his left stood a demon, as dark as Roman was light. His wings were inky black, with streaks of dark green where the sun caught them. He was dressed in black robes that were already stained and tattered - a stark contrast to Roman’s own pristine clothing. Roman’s fingertips itched to miracle away the damage, but the demon probably wouldn’t have appreciated the favor, and Heaven would probably be against wasting a holy miracle on a demon. “Sorry, what was that?” Roman asked, because even if he was talking to a demon, he still had manners, for heaven’s sake.

The demon rolled his eyes, one hand on his hip as he radiated annoyance. “I said, _‘Well, that went down like a lead balloon’_,” he enunciated.

Roman had never seen balloons, let alone one made out of lead, but he understood the gist, which meant that they were probably in God’s plans to get around to making them at some point. “Yes, yes, it did, rather.” Roman admitted.

“Bit of an overreaction, if you ask me,” said the demon. Roman had decidedly **_not_** asked for the demon’s opinion, but he wasn’t going to say anything. Apparently, the demon took his silence for encouragement, and continued, “First offence and everything. I can’t see what’s so _bad_ about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway.”

“Well, it must _be_ bad-” Roman let the sentence hang, looking significantly at the demon.

The demon must have understood the glance, because he filled in the blank, “Remus.”

“-Remus.” Roman continued, committing the name to memory. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have tempted them into it.”

Remus shrugged, letting the accusation flow off him like water off a duck’s back _(which, coincidentally, Roman **had** seen! He’d been feeding the ducks earlier when one had dipped below the surface of the pond and rose back up. It was very enjoyable watching the water cascade off the feathers and had made Roman wonder if he could recreate the effect with his own wings, and what the sensation would feel like). _“Oh, they just said, _'Get up there and make some trouble’_.”

“Well, obviously,” Roman scoffed, “you’re a demon.” In case that wasn’t obvious enough, Roman continued, “It’s what you **_do_**.” Remus frowned, but he didn’t look repentant. Roman wondered if demons should feel repentant for their evil actions, or if they were simply doing what God had intended them to do. Grimacing a little, Roman carefully reeled back his thoughts - Angels did not question God’s plans. That way led to falling from grace, an experience Roman decidedly did **_not_** want to feel the sensation of.

“Not very subtle of the Almighty, though.” Remus commented idly. “Fruit tree in the middle of a garden with a "Don’t Touch” sign.“ Roman thought offhandedly that Remus had a point, and was immediately horrified with himself. This was why the other angels warned against fraternizing with demons - their wily ways would get inside your head and corrupt your thoughts. "I mean, why not put it on the top of a high mountain? Or on the moon? Makes you wonder what God’s really planning.”

A tiny voice in Roman’s head agreed with the demon’s words. Roman promptly grabbed that voice, shoved it in a mental box, padlocked the box, covered it in cement, and dropped it down the deepest mental abyss he could find. “Best not to speculate.” Roman finally said, when it was obvious Remus was waiting to hear his opinion. “It’s all part of the Great Plan. It’s not for us to understand.” Remus didn’t look convinced, so Roman tried one more time, “It’s _ineffable_.”

“The Great Plan’s _ineffable_?” Remus exclaimed. Oh lord, now he looked less convinced than ever.

“Exactly.” Roman said, interjecting all of his confidence into his words. “It is _beyond understanding_ and incapable of being put into words.”

Remus eyed Roman for a moment, and Roman did his best to exude assurity and righteousness. Then the demon’s brow wrinkled, and Roman felt the sinking sensation that he’d missed something vital.

“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?” Damn. Double damn. Who the heck was this demon? Roman felt torn between being ashamed that he had been caught, and feeling flattered that the demon had been watching him enough to notice his sword. “You **_did_**. It was flaming like anything. What happened to it?”

Roman looked down, and scuffed one sandal against the edge of the Wall. He still felt like he’d made the right decision, but he wasn’t _sure_. God hadn’t created instruction manuals yet, so Roman was in a constant state of lowkey anxiety that any decisions he made would be _Wrong_.

“Lost it already, have you?”

Hoping the demon would drop the matter, Roman muttered, “Gave it away.”

“You **_what_**?” Remus sounded shocked. Incredulous. The bad feeling inside Roman got worse - how bad of a decision was it, if a demon couldn’t even fathom his actions?

“I gave it _away_!” Roman exclaimed. He winced at the volume, but he had to explain, to justify his decision. “There are vicious animals! It’s going to be cold out there. And she’s _expecting_ already!” He couldn’t stop the words from coming out. The damn had broken. He’d been going over and over and over his choice in his mind, and now that he had a willing ear, all of his reasoning and debating was pouring out. “And I said, _'Here you go. Flaming sword. Don’t thank me. And don’t let the sun go down on you here’_.” Roman began to chew on his thumbnail, worrying. His hand already felt empty without the sword in it. “I _do_ hope I didn’t do the wrong thing.”

Remus shrugged, turning back to watch the humans as they walked further away, one of the lions hot on their trail. “Oh, you’re an angel. I don’t think you **_can_** do the wrong thing.”

A well of gratitude sprung inside Roman, and he sighed, “Oh, oh, thank-Oh, _thank you_.” He almost hugged the demon right then and there, but he held himself back. “It’s been bothering me.” Roman admitted, quietly.

In the distance, the human (who Remus could now see was holding the flaming sword) had turned back around to confront the lion. There was a roar.

“I’ve been worrying, too.” Remus said, and now it was Roman’s turn to feel shocked. What on earth was there for a Demon to worry about? The confusion must have been obvious on his face, because Remus elaborated, “What if I did the right thing with the whole 'eat the apple’ business? A demon can get into **_a lot_** of trouble for doing the right thing.”

Another roar, and a meaty thunk. They were too far away, but Roman could still imagine that he could smell singed fur, and his nose wrinkled.

“It’d be funny if we both got it wrong, eh?” Remus chuckled darkly, and elbowed Roman in the side. “If **_I_** did the good thing and **_you_** did the bad one.”

Roman was laughing before he could stop himself, a grin stretching on his face to match Remus’s. They both shared the amusement for several moments before Roman stopped suddenly, his horrified mind working through the implications of _doing a bad thing_ and what this would mean for himself and for the new world God was creating. “No! It wouldn’t be funny _at all_.” Roman said. The consequences and potential repercussions were too awful to contemplate.

Remus shrugged, and went back to watching the tiny humans. The silence stretched out as they stood together, and when the first rain began to fall, it felt only natural for Roman to shelter the demon beneath his wing. After all, now that Eden’s walls no longer needed to be guarded, he was probably going to be reassigned soon. He might never see the demon again, so what was one small kindness in the grand scheme of things?


End file.
